20 lessons I learned in my 20s

In honor of turning 30 I thought I would share the top 20 lessons that I learned in my 20s. Some of them I’ve learned over and over. Some of them I learned recently. Some of them I learned a long time ago. As always – take what resonates with you and leave behind what doesn’t.

1. Productive Procrastination isn’t Productive

You might also be a professional procrastinator, but planning for move, researching the move, thinking about the move, finding photos for the move. None of those things are actually moving. If you want to get better you just have to start moving.

2. Nothing is Permanent, which is kinda great 

I’ve been a photographer since I was 16, and that feels like a form of permanence. But it’s not. It has ebbed and flowed. And I’ve done other things. Retail and customer service specifically. The type of photography has changed. And through it all I’ve gotten to learn and adapt. But what it all boils down to is this. If you choose one thing and don’t like it – you don’t have to keep doing that thing. 

3. If it’s not a hell yes it’s a no

If when I get your invitation it’s not a hell yes I’m just going to say no. Obviously there are some things we can’t say no to. But when you can if you want to just say no. I actually think it’s a more valuable skill than the year of yes.

4. Comparison doesn’t steal joy – jealousy does 

Have you ever noticed that the comparison that steals your joy is really just the feeling of “I want what they have” you’re not even actually comparing yourself you just want the other thing. I think if you took time to actually compare you might even get better and get closer to having the thing you want. Compare like for like see what the similarities and differences are. Do it without the feelings of jealousy and wanting. I think you’ll be surprised how good you actually are.

5. You might never be ready 

There are somethings that I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for. They are going to happen anyway. What matters isn’t if you were ready. What matters is how you respond after.

6. Do the thing when you first said you wanted to do the thing, and if you don’t and you still want to do it 5 years later do it then. 

It’s okay if you don’t do the thing. But if 5 years later you still are saying you want to do the thing then you should do the thing. For me that applies to an ungodly number of things. So I implement this trick I learned a long time ago. Write down 15 things that you want. Circle the 2 you want most. Work on those two and avoid the other 13 like the plague. Those other 13 things are your distractions they will keep you from being where you want to be. We only have so much time/energy/resources. Use them where they benefit you the most.

7. Take photos, live in the moment 

I’m a professional photographer, so I do see a lot of value in taking photos. My advice is to take the photo at the start of the night then just live in the moment. Unless you see Taylor Swift in concert – then bring your partner to take photos for you!

8. Be kinder to yourself. 

9. Be kinder to your partner. 

10. Learning doesn’t stop 

If you stop learning you stop growing. Even if you only take 1% growth away from any given scenario you’re still learning and growing.

11. Love is a verb. 

Act like it.

12. Trust your gut 

You know why.

13. Don’t book work because you’re desperate 

My worst clients have all happened because I was SO desperate for work that I took on clients I knew weren’t a good fit for me. Listen to Elizabeth Gilbert and don’t force your creativity to support you. Support your creativity so that you never have to book work out of desperation.

14. Don’t move the goal post 

Once you reach the goal post celebrate it. Don’t move it further away!

15. Celebrate small wins 

Use the novelty theory to make your life last longer and celebrate small wins!

16. Most people underestimate what they can do in a year and overestimate what they can do in a day 

I just want you to read that one again.

17. If you don’t ask the answer is no. 

Sometimes the answer is no when you do ask. But I’ve found you can actually get a lot by simply asking for it.

18. Sometimes you need to walk away 

Walking away doesn’t make you weak, or a bad friend, or anything negative. Sometimes it’s what you have to do for yourself. That’s okay.

19. You really are your own worst critique 

No one else is spending that much time thinking about you. And no one who is successfully doing what you want to do is going to make fun of you for trying.

20. Life is really really fun if you let it be. Play more 

 

I’m sure I’m going to learn a lot more lessons in my 30s but these are the 20 lessons I learned in my 20s that I’m carrying with me. If you liked these you might also like:

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