It’s been a minute since I’ve written. Thank you for sticking around. Because this is a new space it was the first thing to go when life went a little topsy turvy.

Remember the friend who was teasing me a lot and I didn’t love it? Our friendship recently ended. I wrote a bunch more getting into it, but I erased it because it was giving me anxiety. I feel good about how I handled myself, but I feel sad about it ending. And I feel hurt that someone I trusted could turn on me so quickly and call me a liar.

I’m still processing and reeling. I keep writing things here and erasing them. Probably why I haven’t written in so long.

So instead I’m going to write about something else. Something that is bringing me joy and happiness. I grew the most beautiful bouquet of flowers in my garden (pictured below), and I live in the neighborhood that childhood me dreamed about living in. My life feels incredibly surreal and I am happy for it. Right now there is a heartache, but I’m trying really hard to focus on the positive to feel the good thing.

I’ve also learned my brain is easily tricked, and I’m grateful for it. For so much of my life I’ve shopped to fill a negative emotion and give me a dopamine hit. As I pay off some credit card debt I have to do something different to make myself not reveal in a bad mood. It turns out pretty much anything works to turn my mood around. It’s just continuing to sit in the thing that frustrated me that keeps me spiraling.

Do dishes? Boom happier to be in a cleaner house

Fold laundry? Boom happier to be standing and moving my body

Water the garden? Happier because I’m outside

Do jumping jacks? Happier.

Take the dogs for a walk? Happier

Any activity that is not sitting still automatically tricks my brain into happierness. Sitting with a book or to watch tv or scroll social media does NOT work. It has to involve some movement, but anything that involved movement? Happier!

It’s an interesting thing to rediscover. Like when you’re unhappy if you just smile eventually your brain thinks you’re happy and has been tricked. Crazy.

Overall I am so happy with this life. Thank you for joining me on the journey.

P.s. I’ve decided to be debt free by December – think I can do it?