I have been stalled wondering how much to share and how much to not share – and ultimately not coming to a decision. I want to share my life experiences, but I don’t want to hurt other people.

Anyway, I spent July 17 hunkered down at my computer editing. I was coming up on a deadline for a wedding. The couple was so so so wonderful, I loved them so much. But every time I opened the gallery to edit it I cried because the wedding planner was so awful to me. I wanted to do my best for the couple and treat each image with the love and care they deserved. So I needed some space from the actual events and emotions of the day. I asked some colleagues across different wedding industries about their experience with this woman, and they all said that she was the worst to work with. And I wish that made me feel better, but it doesn’t. Because she keeps being hired. Even with no professional photos of her work because she’s alienated so many photographers. I just don’t get it.

So that’s some advice I would give to new photographers – ALWAYS give yourself lots of extra time for editing. You never know what could happen. In this timeframe I also severely sprained my ankle and got covid. And my body needed nothing except to sleep to heal from both of those things which took about 3-4 weeks out of my work life. Plus just regular work – it being wedding season means that I have a lot of work photographing on weekends.

Today I babysat from 8-4 and the kids were cute, but it reminds me why I work for myself every time I have to set an alarm to get out of bed. I was clearly meant to be the swing shift of night watch evolutionarily.

When I got home I napped HARD from 5-7 and woke up feeling groggy and disoriented -10/10 do not recommend. Then I went back to editing.

I did also scroll tiktok today. I’ve largely moved away from scrolling tiktok, and when I did it tonight I found myself skipping at least half of the videos. My FYP was not FYPing. I’m curious if that has been the case for you too?

As always, thank you for being here.

P.S. I’m trying to fall back in love with myself – so more selfies. I saw a quote that was about how we were never supposed to be able to perceive ourselves. I wonder about that as a photographer. I feel BEAUTIFUL when I am just existing, but when I see photos of myself that’s suddenly hard to believe.

I’m also thinking of unfollowing anyone who I look at and think any feelings of envy towards. Thoughts?