My parents made some mistakes when I was growing up. But they also did some things right. And one thing that they did very very right is that my mom never taught me to be smaller. She never taught me to take up less space. In fact, when I was actively trying to make myself smaller she was vehemently opposed to it. I just wanted to fit in and she was always encouraging me to stand out. At the time I thought she just didn’t understand and didn’t want me to have friends. But today, a 30 year old woman, I am so grateful for knowing that I am allowed to be the smartest/most successful/hardest worker I possibly can be and that it’s a good thing.

I never want to be the most successful person in a professional circle because I want the motivation to grow. But also because I want to surround myself with mindsets that are inspiring. So I want to write this as an encouragement to you, dear reader. I want to encourage you to take up space. Don’t be your own bully. Don’t talk down to yourself or make your accomplishments seem less than what they are. Don’t give up before you’ve even tried because you’re scared.

You matter so much. The way you talk to yourself creates your perception. Talk to yourself kindly. Live bravely. Encourage yourself! No one is born knowing anything. Everything is learned and you can choose to learn it at any time. How exciting is that??

I’m not saying that you can’t doubt yourself. I’m not saying that imposter syndrome doesn’t exist because it absolutely does. But for the love of god please believe in yourself. Don’t introduce yourself by saying “but I’m really not that good” it does yourself a disservice, it does your clients a disservice, it does your friends a disservice. You are brilliant. Maybe you’re actually factually not that good. Try saying “I’m learning” or “I’m growing” instead. Your brain meets you where you are. I know I sound like a fortune cookie but just fake it til you make it.

I’m learning about the upper limit theory (a theory that describes how people subconsciously sabotage themselves when they experience success or joy. The theory was developed by psychologist and author Gay Hendricks and is featured in his book The Big Leap), and I don’t want to limit myself because of my thinking. I don’t want you to limit yourself either.

We were born to do great things. Whatever that looks like from a patio garden to going to space. We own this and we deserve it.

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